In the 33+ years I've been in AA, Alanon and OA, I've heard many people share of how they feel their spouse is a mis-fit. I was one of those people, so much so, my first marriage ended in acrimony.
...... The 12 steps are the only method I've come across (and I've participated in many many many 'courses'!) that effectively takes my gaze inwards, even for the most un-initiated. Such as addicts, alcoholics and co-dependents. No wonder there are so many 12-step fellowships around!